When we uplift dogs, these are the text messages they'll send [Goofballery]

When we uplift dogs, these are the text messages they'll send [Goofballery]:
For now, dogs are man's best friend, but what happens once they gain sentience and an unlimited data plan? Text from Dog is a collection of interspecies communications between our canine pals and their human companions, who don't know where Mr. Duck is and aren't hunkering beneath the couch to look for it.
Text from Dog purports to be the texts between a single dog and his owner, and they're probably a logical extension of the "Yes, this is Dog" meme. If my dog had opposable thumbs and the powers of text-based speech, I suspect he'd ask "Is it time for lunchies?" every 30 seconds, with an occasional, "Guess what? I decorated the living room. With the stuff from the trash can."
Text from Dog [via Laughing Squid]